silohouettes:

I hate when a person says they’ve had a bad day and everyone, instead of trying to cheer them up, enters a competition of who’s had the shittest life

hotel-mario:

The year is 2540, a student in history class notices something off about his textbook. “How come these textbooks skip the years 1990 through 1999?” The teacher puts his air-marker down on the table, lowers his head, and sighs. “Because…” he lifts his head, a single tear rolls down his cheek, “… only 90’s kids remember the 90’s”

klanos:

porrim:

so one time when i was in 8th grade my school went on a camping trip at this camp and at night we all went around the campfire and told stories

and one of the instructors pointed up at the hill where a bunch of deer had gathered. he explained that baby deer make certain noises to call their mothers over. he said if we were really quiet we could hear them

suddenly this huge black guy came out from the forest and yelled YO MAMA WHERE YOU AT

I AM DYING OH MY GOD

ha-st-ee:

aryanightshade:

sexploshin:

Somewhere between fuck you and I’d fuck you

somewhere between ‘go fuck yourself” and ‘no wait let me do it’

Somewhere between “fuck off” and “fuck me”

not-safe-for-earth:

unclefather:

badrapper:

awwww-cute:

Went kayaking with my girlfriend and we made the cutest friend!

excuse me WHY are his hands up i cant handle this

pick him up

hello boat friends i am here for cuddles

trillow:

this is the police. open up. tell me something about yourself, don’t be afraid

voldy92:

there is nothing rarer and more beautiful than liking every song on an album

codeinewarrior:

woodmeat:

wat the fuck do snoop be doin??

livin
“I’d rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.”
- Lucille Bluth, Arrested Development (via spacebartender)
Paz. Arizona. Photographer. Art. SuperWhoLock. Sarcastic Asshole. Let's talk.